Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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