Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
