I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
