why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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