i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
