The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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