There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
