Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
