im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
