I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have post one night stand depression
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
