I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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