does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
