why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
