don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My vagina is very pro this idea
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
