I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
