Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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