SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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