You work out of a Hotel?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
