Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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