So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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