Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
