Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
