I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
