so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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