This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
