it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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