so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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