HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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