guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
