No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
