if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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