I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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