i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
