If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Church boner. Awkwardddd
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
