and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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