my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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