Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
