Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
