Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
