OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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