There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
