At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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