I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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