I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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