remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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