I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
