bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
