so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
