I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
