I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
