Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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