the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
